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Co-regulated practice

Practising TRE™ with others adds something that solo work can’t provide: co-regulation. When we’re in the presence of calm, grounded nervous systems, our own system can settle more deeply. Being witnessed in our release can directly heal old experiences of needing to hide.

Why practise with others?

  • Co-regulation — A calm, grounded presence helps your nervous system settle in ways that are difficult to access alone. This isn’t metaphorical, it’s biological: our nervous systems are designed to be influenced by other nervous systems.
  • Being witnessed — Many of us learnt to hide our vulnerability, fear, and authentic expression. Being seen in our release, without fixing or interpretation, can be profoundly healing.
  • Accountability — Scheduling practice with someone else helps maintain consistency. Having a regular practice partner or group creates structure.
  • Normalisation — Seeing others tremor normalises the experience. Self-consciousness decreases. What felt strange alone becomes natural in company.

Partner practice

In partner TRE™, one person tremors while the other witnesses, offering their calm presence and attention, and then you switch. Close with brief sharing if desired.

Setting up

Look for someone you trust and feel safe with. They should understand TRE™ (ideally with their own practice). Their presence should feel calming rather than activating. This doesn’t need to be a romantic partner; friends, family members, or dedicated practice partners all work.

Before beginning, discuss:

  • Time available (enough for both people)
  • Any needs or concerns
  • How you’ll handle strong emotions if they arise
  • Whether touch is welcome, and what kind
  • Signals to pause or stop

Create a comfortable, private space with enough room for one person to lie down, mats and blankets for comfort, and somewhere comfortable for the witness to sit.

The art of witnessing

The witness role is central to partner practice. It requires presence without intervention: simply being with another person’s experience.

As a witness

  • Sit comfortably where you can see your partner without staring
  • Maintain a calm, grounded presence
  • Keep some attention on your own body and breath
  • Observe without analysing or interpreting
  • Hold a compassionate, accepting attitude
  • Resist the urge to fix, help, or comment
  • Allow your partner privacy within the shared space

Being witnessed

  • Allow yourself to be seen without performing
  • Release self-consciousness as much as possible
  • Trust that your partner is holding a supportive space
  • You don’t need to explain or justify your experience
Witnessing is active

Being a witness isn’t passive. Holding space requires presence, groundedness, and care. The quality of your witnessing directly affects your partner’s experience.

Clear boundaries are essential:

  • Before each session — Check in about current state and sensitivities. Reaffirm consent for the type of practice planned. Clarify whether touch is welcome.
  • During practice — Respect each other’s process. Don’t comment on or interpret the other’s tremors. Give space for whatever arises. Stop if either person asks.
  • Emotional boundaries — If difficult material arises, offer presence, not interpretation. Have a plan for significant distress.

Touch in partner practice

The witness can offer supportive touch when both people consent:

  • Grounding — Hands on the tremorer’s feet
  • Witnessing — Hand on shoulder or upper back
  • Containment — Sitting near head, hands on shoulders
Touch should feel supportive, not intrusive

Consent can change moment to moment. The tremorer can ask for touch to stop at any time. When in doubt, err on the side of less touch.

Facilitated group practice

Group TRE™ offers the benefits of co-regulation at a larger scale. Multiple calm nervous systems create a powerful field for practice.

The safest and most effective group sessions happen with a Certified TRE™ Provider, who can offer:

  • Proper instruction of the exercises
  • Guidance on self-regulation for all participants
  • Ability to recognise overwhelm or dissociation
  • Knowledge of when to intervene
  • Professional responsibility for safety

Most groups meet regularly, offering the chance to connect with others on similar journeys. They’re usually lower cost than individual sessions.

Many Providers also offer online sessions, making groups accessible regardless of location. Co-regulation is less powerful than in person, but it’s a good option when that’s not possible.

Finding others to practise with

For help finding Providers who run groups, see Finding support.